Children And Divorce

Collaborative Divorce Lawyer In Massachusetts

Using The Collaborative Approach To Help Children Of Divorce

As parents we try to do everything we can to protect our children from harm, but sometimes life gets in the way. If it is necessary for you to obtain a divorce, there is a way that you can minimize the inevitable hurt to your children caused by your divorce.

The children of a marriage will be harmed by the disintegration of the family unit through divorce.  During a contested divorce, anxiety levels are high because the outcome of the divorce is in doubt until the very end. Disputes between the parents hurt the children. The increased anxiety of the parent who is primarily caring for the children will have a negative effect on those children even if they are not directly exposed to the arguments of the parents.

If a child attends college, the parents will need to communicate with each other regarding the payment of college expenses and other child related issues until the child reaches the age of 23. The anger and animosity generated by a contested divorce can poison the parent’s relationship for years after the divorce is completed and will compound the problems experienced by their children.

To minimize your children’s hurt, both during and after your divorce, it is important for you and your spouse to be able to negotiate the terms of the divorce in a manner that is honest, fair and respectful. It is important that the divorce process not poison your relationship with your spouse so that you will be able to feel comfortable in each other’s presence following the divorce. It is also important to keep the positive relationships that have developed with other members of your spouse’s family. You will be seeing your spouse and these other members of your spouse’s family over and over after the divorce at birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc. The Collaborative process is designed to accomplish all of this.

How does it work?

Using the Collaborative process, you, your spouse and your respective attorneys will enter into a written contract whereby all of you will agree to:

• Openly disclose the existence of all assets and debts
• Not attempt to capitalize on mistakes made by the other side
• Be respectful of the other three persons who are engaging in the negotiations
• Negotiate with each other fairly
• Negotiate in good faith
• Not file a contested divorce
• Not even threaten to file a contested divorce
• Not lie

Both Collaborative attorneys will do everything they can to make both you and your spouse feel comfortable and safe during the negotiations. The four of you will work together as equals. You will not be attacked by your spouse’s attorney, in fact you will probably be complimented by her or him.

As part of the Collaborative process you will negotiate all of the terms of your divorce during four way meetings where you, your spouse and both of your attorneys are present. The attorneys will never negotiate with each other when the four of you are not together.

You will always know ahead of time what will be discussed at these four way meetings so you will not have to worry about being blindsided. The final decisions regarding every term of the divorce will be decided by you and your spouse, not by the attorneys.

To schedule a 30 minute initial consultation to discuss whether the collaborative process may be appropriate for your situation, contact us or call us at 413-998-0613. Our office is open from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m., Monday through Friday, and evenings and weekends by appointment. Our fees are reasonable and we will travel to meet with you, if necessary.

The Lawyer Who Listens

Douglas D. Nichols, Attorney at Law

Map & Directions

At the office of Douglas D. Nichols, Attorney at Law, in Ludlow, we represent individuals throughout Hampden County and Hampshire County in Massachusetts, including Springfield, West Springfield, Longmeadow, East Longmeadow, Wilbraham, Chicopee, Westfield, Palmer, Ware, Easthampton, Brimfield, Agawam, Amherst, Holyoke, Hampden, Northampton and Belchertown.

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